Loneliness


There is a fundamental human need for companionship, for a sympathetic ear, for reassurance, for hearing my feelings and sentiments echoed back, for touching and being touched. Being alone is sensory deprivation, slow torture, and my soul cries out for the company of a kindred spirit, for the comfort that only a friend can give, for someone who can fill the emptiness, who can share the isolated moments of my existence.

Loneliness weakens the spirit. It consumes my strength and dims my inner flame. It tempts me to wallow in self-pity, to descend into a kind of gloomy rapture, depressed and paralyzed, yet at the same time glorying in my own misery, suffering proudly in a private hell. For all that, loneliness is a state of mind, an affliction of the soul rather than an external condition, and it is entirely within my power to fight it, and perhaps work toward self-healing.

Resisting loneliness is more than just "keeping busy", immersing myself in so many activities that I have no time to reflect on my sad state. It means following my interests, improving my skills, developing myself as a multifaceted individual. It's about going out and meeting people, making contacts, learning to survive in a social context. It means living my dream, not at some future time when I might finally be in a relationship, but NOW.

"I was taught to feel, perhaps too much
The self-sufficing power of solitude."

Wordsworth


Aloneness is the riddle I must solve in order to be worthy of the companionship of others, and therein lies the central paradox of being alone - that it can either ennoble, or degrade. The essential difference between aloneness and loneliness is the anguish, the acute hunger for contact that the lonely suffer. Could I but consider solitude a necessary journey of discovery, a crisis that may ultimately purify and strengthen me, then I might emerge from this Dark Night of the Soul uplifted and exalted, more fully realized as a person. Once comfortable in my own company, reconciled to the austere beauty of silence, of privacy, of total self-sufficiency, only then can I travel onward and explore the horizons of interaction, of exchange, of binding with my fellow humans.


"...the thinking man is driven... to long desperately for some quiet place where he can reason undisturbed and take inventory."
Richard Byrd, Alone


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